The First Beat
by JessTheGeek
Summary: The Master's madness begins to awaken when he returns from his initiation, making the Doctor even more anxious about what is to come. A one-shot about the childhood of the Doctor and the Master on Gallifrey.


**My second Doctor Who fanfic and again, it is centred around the Master. Although it is mainly told from the Doctor's perspective. I have not seen a great deal of the old series and although I have researched Gallifrey and Timelords quite a lot, this is mostly based on my own imagination.  
I always imagined the 10th Doctor (David Tennant) when writing this so even though it was when the Doctor was young, that's why his character is featured in the story description.  
As I said before in my other Master fanfiction, he's a character who has always fascinated me. His madness drives him to destruction yet he seems to still have a charm about him that attracts people to him. Madness, in general, is interesting to me and I love exploring it through fanfiction! Sorry, too much babbling... I get very enthusiastic when I write Author's notes (:  
Anyway, this story features the Doctor and the Master as children before they were enrolled into the academy and when they were still friends. I really hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it and if you do, please please review! It's easy not to on a one-shot but I'd love to hear your thoughts, positive or negative. Anyway.. too much again.. I'm sorry! Enjoy! :)**

* * *

The trees appeared to be ablaze, the beautiful silver of the trees reflecting the fierce red of the Gallifreyan sky.  
Amidst the red grass of the hill, in the shadow of a cottage-like building sat a small child. His legs stretched out in front of him and playing with an ordinary looking gold stick, twisting it and turning it in his fingers. His eyes were wide with amazement and he was utterly enthralled. Suddenly a small light glowed at the end of the stick, making it look almost like a wand, the boy grinned. The small orb of light erupted from the stick and flew high in to the air, it flew far away only to turn and began to weave through the forest, several animal cries being heard as it disturbed everything in sight. The boy jumped to his feet as it burst from the forest and flew towards him.  
When it reached him, the light disappeared into the stick again, leaving everything silent as if nothing at all had happened.

The boy flopped onto his back, running his fingers through the red grass which pulled out easily in his fingers. His smile remained on his face as he stared up at the sky, making many observations in his head as he did so every day.  
_More red than usual, perhaps... Or maybe that's more orange... _  
He sighed as he gazed above him, still pondering the colours that seemed to always be changing. Everybody had told him the Time Lords were able to change the environment around and they all seemed to accept this as fact, but this boy had always been sceptical. He had recently been enrolled into the Academy and he hoped that he would discover how, how they could change it... what they used to do it.  
This boy had always been full of questions, always eager to know as much as he could. Much to the dismay of some of the elders of Gallifrey, he had always been too curious to know about the outside world and about his own. His eyes would fill with wonder at every fact he learnt or every story he was told and he never forgot a single thing. He had always hoped that everything he learnt would be put to good use, to help other beings in the universe.  
So when he had been asked to choose his new title as a Time Lord, there had never been any question about it. Only one name came to mind, someone who is not only wise but uses that knowledge to help others. Doctor.

His friends had never been as eager as him to start their education in the Academy; they heard it was not an easy life and that your childhood ends in those last few days before you begin your learning.  
The Doctor had never had those worries, ignoring the rumours and assuming they were untrue. The Academy would be his first opportunity to be around people, teachers who knew so much about the universe. It was exciting; he had been anticipating his enrolment in the Academy all his life.  
Despite this, he worried about the initiation. Everyone who had been sent for it so far seemed to change when they came back; they looked slightly empty, overwhelmed and feared for the others who were soon to experience it too.  
A close friend of the Doctor, his best friend had been called today to go to the initiation. When his name had been called, his face paled significantly and a look of true terror crossed his face. The Doctor had no worries about the Academy itself but he worried for his friend who was clearly not ready for whatever they had prepared for him.  
That's why they had promised that after it happened they would meet on this hill, which seemed far enough away from society and far enough from over-excited children trying to find out what the initiation is. The Doctor didn't know why they asked, it was forbidden to tell anyone and the punishments were said to be very severe for anyone who did. He knew his friend would not take the risk and he understood. His curiosity was not worth another's pain.

So when his friend staggered into view, the Doctor was surprised. He did not hold the same expression that all had taken before him. His face was full of fury, so much that the Doctor almost did not recognise it. Fury that looked like it was already consuming him. His hair was messed, something that the Doctor knew from experience, his friend would never allow.  
His friend was ordered, so much so that the Doctor thought this rage could have been because they took away his control, something his friend relied very much upon but that was not it. This rage was far too extreme and as he came closer, the Doctor saw true horror in his eyes. He could already tell that whatever had happened, his friend was traumatised and the smile soon faded from his face as he stood to meet him.  
His friend slid straight past him, barely even recognising his existence. He slumped down instantly, sitting on the red grass and pulling his knees in towards him, his head bowed down and everything fell silent once again. The Doctor had no idea how to act, he was only a child and this was clearly way past his capability but he walked over to his friend and sat down next to him anyway. He had to live up to his name in any way he could.

"Is everything okay?" He said the first words that sprang to mind and instantly cursed his stupidity.

Everything was clearly not okay and there was no other possible way to answer this question. However his friend raised his head and stared at him, the Doctor felt fear when he stared into his friend's eyes. They were cold, apathetic and totally unlike the person he knew.

"You address me by my title." His friend spoke evenly but with such authority that the Doctor instantly felt reluctance to even speak again. "My name." His friend continued. "As I do for you, Doctor."

The Doctor sighed. He had never understood his friend's choice of name, as his friend had never understood his. His title evoked a feeling of fondness, everybody trusted a doctor.  
However his friend's name showed a darker side to him that the Doctor had preferred to ignore. The Doctor always chose to see the best in people and despite his flaws, the boy sitting next to him was the closest friend he had. The one he played with when they were very young, the only person who would put up with his excited tales of new knowledge and new stories and the one who would listen to them all again just so the Doctor could once again feel that excitement, the excitement he always felt when telling a story of something different, something not like him.  
His friend was the more orderly of the two, less excited about knowledge and more interested in control. When they were very young children, his friend controlled the games they played; handing out toys or roles to whomever they were with and this was his passion. He gathered animals from the nearby surroundings, cursing them when they would not do what he asked. The Doctor never allowed them to be hurt though, he could not passively let that happen but he wasn't sure if his friend would have hurt them or not if he had not been around to stand up to him.  
That's why his name was so suited to him, it was everything he yearned for rolled into one word; Master.

"Master." The Doctor's grimaced as he uttered his name. "What's happened to you?"

"Why?" His friend growled, with a manic grin on his face. "Do I seem strange?" The Doctor nodded, struck by fear and the Master instantly laughed loudly, causing the Doctor to flinch before he continued. "I can't tell you, you know that. It's not allowed." He almost spat the words out, bitterness reflected in such a young voice.

The Doctor scoured his mind desperately, searching for any words he thought might provide some comfort for his friend but he did not spend long because the Master spoke again.

"I can't tell you but how?" He cried, placing a hand on either side of his head. "How can anyone _not_ talk about this? It's so loud, Doctor. How can the others stand it?" He bowed his head down again. "Am I weak? Is this a test?"

The Doctor was speechless, left dumbstruck by words he did not understand. His friend, his dearest friend was completely unrecognisable.  
This time, the Doctor felt true fear at the thought of what must have happened to the Master during his initiation. What could be so horrible or so shocking that it left his friend questioning himself? He had never noticed any of these signs in the others that had encountered the initiation but he had not known them as well, what if this initiation left you lost forever?  
The Doctor did not want that for himself and he wished he could somehow have stopped whatever had happened to his friend.  
The Master had pulled himself together even tighter, his face barely visible over his knees. He groaned loudly as he rocked ever so slightly. Then the Doctor became intrigued not with his expression, or his posture or any of the things that had interested him before. The Doctor's concentration was solely on the Master's fingers, which rested around his knees. They had begun to move, as if of their own accord. They were tapping against his knees in a rhythm the Master had never sounded before. Tap Tap Tap Tap; Fast and sharp, repeating constantly but always in that one rhythm. The Doctor was nearly mesmerised by the action but his perplexed feelings brought a frown to his face which he could not ignore. He wanted to ask about it, his first instinct was always to familiarise himself with the unknown and to brave it, especially when it scared him as it did now. He couldn't though; he didn't want to tempt his friend into giving in and betraying the secrecy surrounding the initiation so instead he stared at the rhythm, trying to make sense of it. While he did so, he didn't notice the Master looking up to catch his eye. The Doctor nearly gasped as he caught sight of The Master; he looked pained and manic as he stared at the Doctor with a slowly spreading grin warping his face. He began to laugh, almost hysterically.

"You..." He began, laughing still. "You have no idea, Doctor. No idea what awaits you. This." He tapped again, louder to emphasize it. "It's not going away." The Master leaned towards him, indicating that he should do the same. "_The drumming,_" he whispered in the Doctor's ear. "It's been there since I..." He trailed off and looked away from the Doctor.

The Doctor was desperate for more, desperation induced by fear, anxiety and, as always, curiosity. He was concerned, confused and a thousand other emotions he didn't understand that kept circling through his head.  
The Master placed his head in his hands and very soon tears began to trickle through his fingers. The Doctor very nearly gasped, he had rarely seen his friend cry and he never did now that they were older.  
The Master still continued to tap the rhythm out on his head, it unnerved the Doctor who saw it as some sort of sign of possession but maybe that was his imagination running wild with him, he reasoned with himself. He cleared his throat nervously before deciding to branch the subject.

"Why are you tapping that..." The Doctor motioned with his head towards the Master's still tapping fingers. "...rhythm?" The Doctor spoke nervously, as if he was uncertain about what he was saying.

The Master glared at the Doctor with such ferocity that the Doctor felt himself cowering away, leaning backwards and looking away, trying to avoid his venomous eyes.

"Why?" The Master hissed, "can you not stand it? Is it too much?" His voice was verging on a shout and he sounded angry, an anger that the Doctor had not bargained on causing. "Oh, the annoyance will go and then all you will be left with is desperation, my friend." He leaned towards the Doctor whose eyes were now widening as he saw the true insanity in his friend's eyes. "It's won't go." The Master's voice verged on a whisper. "I try to forget it, to lose it among memories of happier things. Ha! I've even tried to ignore it, Doctor. Da Da Da Da." He smiled sadly. "Doctor, you will hear it too... when you are called for the initiation and then you will understand, oh how I wish you understood!"

The Doctor could think of no useful words he could offer up in response. Now, his fear was not only for his friend but for himself.  
What was this rhythm? The _drumming,_ as the Master had referred to it. The Doctor had never noticed anything like this in the others that had gone for initiation, they came back appearing shaken and speechless but a day later and they were okay. Maybe that's what would happen, the rhythm would fade and the Master would return to being his friend, the friend he knew.  
The Doctor wanted to believe the best, he had always been an optimistic soul but realism was now overruling any sort of hope he might have had. The others had not been affected so extremely because they were not going through what his friend was now going through, there was no way they could be. Although he had not been a placid character before, his anger was unnaturally high and his change of personality would be noticed in anyone, but what could he do? If he told an elder, they might not understand. He may be more damaging than he could imagine in any attempt to help him.  
So he sat in silence, contemplating his options as the Master began to slowly rock back and forth, clutching his head in a way that looked almost painful.  
The Doctor knew that soon, he would be called up and possibly this rhythm would be inflicted upon him. Whatever haunted the Master could very well soon plague him and although he knew he was thinking selfishly when his friend was in such pain, he couldn't stop thinking about that idea and although his understanding of the rhythm the Master spoke of was nearly limited, he was very sure it was not something he wanted imposed on him.  
The Master suddenly stood up and a loud, what could only be described as a growl erupted from him and it echoed through the land in front of them. What the Doctor had seen as magical only moments before now seemed ominous; the land did not seem so friendly anymore now that the Master's aggressive snarl rippled back to them from it. The Master stormed off it and ignored any of the attempts from the Doctor to call after him, leaving the Doctor alone, frightened and confused about the previous events.  
He laid back on the grass, closing his eyes and allowing the soft ground to provide as much comfort as it could, contemplating the day's events and becoming more and more anxious about the day's to come and what they might hold.

* * *

They said his name. The one word he did not want them to utter, the one word he hoped in desperation would not be said… and now it had been. The Doctor felt tears beginning to develop in his eyes when his name was mentioned by the Elder who had been lucky enough to have the duty of calling students of the academy for initiation.  
Others were called but the Doctor did not hear, feeling himself spiralling into a deep pit of terror. He had not seen the Master among the students and that had worried him even further. Could the drumming really be that terrible that he would miss it?

He needed his friend now that he was to face the unknown. Despite his desire for knowledge, this was one event he would give anything not to experience.  
When the names were called, the group were expected to divide, leaving the ones who had been chosen alone to face whatever they were to face. The Doctor could feel all the hope draining from him as he was finally left with two others, who looked equally terrified. Their eyes were wide and their hands were shaking, the Doctor was glad it was not just him that experienced this fear.  
They followed an Elder rather reluctantly, all of them trying to keep level or at least not be first in the line that was now forming. They did not walk for long and stopped in a place where the orange of the rocks was overwhelming; there was no forest and no buildings to provide any sort of break from it.  
The Doctor had found himself first in line. He stood awkwardly, facing forwards and never turning round whilst his anxiety grew and grew, all he could think of was the Master, his friend who had such a bad reaction to whatever was about to happen. Would he have such a bad reaction? Would he be filled with ferocious rage as his friend had?  
The Doctor could never imagine it. It wasn't possible for him to act as the Master had.

He stepped forward as the Elder beckoned and they walked a way before he saw more Time Lords, all staring at him intently. The Elder pushed him forward unexpectedly, causing him to stumble and nearly fall.

"You must walk forward." The Elder said.

"When do I stop?" The Doctor asked nervously, his voice almost breaking as he tried to stay calm.

"You will know when to stop." The Elder replied coldly, his tone lacked any emotion at all and this only served to heighten the Doctor's fear.

The Doctor stepped forward a small distance reluctantly, then stopping and looking back at The Elder whose expression still remained apathetic. He looked back forward again, still unable to see whatever it was that was meant to signal his stop. He breathed in deeply and decided he would just have to accomplish whatever it was he had to do quickly and ensure it was finished soon. He wanted to stay behind and take it slowly but he knew that was only frightening him.  
He marched forward, attempting to look as confident as possible and willing his hands and his legs, even his head to stop what felt like extreme shaking. He could feel himself slightly twitch every few steps as the fear built and built, still confused and unclear as to what was going to happen. Then he saw it and he froze, every part of his body locked into place as his eyes remained fixed on this one, impossible point in reality.

At first, he just stared into the swirling pool that began to etch itself into his mind. Only then did he truly begin to see it. The amount of information that began to fill his head and cloud his senses was overwhelming, he did not fully understand anything he was seeing and yet it seemed to be screaming out at him. Louder and louder but it never became any clearer.  
He knew for a fact that he had only been looking for a few seconds, yet the way it consumed him made him feel like hours had passed. It made him want to scream, laugh and cry all at the same time and he could never tell which emotion was going to win. There had been mere whispers between the young of Gallifrey about what could have possibly awaited them but nothing could possibly have given him preparation for this. He felt as if he was seeing everything, but looking at nothing at all. There was far too much for him to ever comprehend.  
Was this what it felt like to be a fully fledged Time Lord, when he had been taught at the academy and when he began what would hope to be adventures around the universe? Would it be constant confusion between inspiration and madness?

Then his mind began to burn, the almost empty feeling he received from whatever he was seeing turned into flames that rippled through him fiercely and he suddenly regained control of his limbs. One hand rose to his head and the other helping to propel him away from the thing that had caused him so much pain. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, constantly wary of the fact that he might fall and have to be near to that thing for any more time.  
The crowding and the shouting in his head remained and all he could see was the vacant swirling of an impossible thing as he ran past the Elder.

"I had such high hopes." He barely registered the Elder's words as he flew past, slowly making his way back to the safety of the others and of the Gallifreyans with whom he felt he could be safe.

He wanted to scrub the image from his mind; he would give anything to not be plagued by that monotonous swirling that he knew would haunt him for the rest of his life.  
His hands were shaking severely, much worse than he had been beforehand. He was not controlling where he ran, as if his mind automatically took him to the last place he had felt truly safe… the red hill overshadowing the forest. The twinkling of the silver leaves, the bright chirping of nearby animals and even the change in the sky was completely lost on the Doctor, who only saw a small boy sitting on the hill with his knees pulled towards him. He looked haunted and desolate, until he saw the Doctor and offered him an understanding glance.  
The Doctor had not realised he'd been crying until this moment but as he did the tears began to increase and he sunk to his knees only inches before the Master, his head sinking into his upturned hands and the tears flowing through his fingers, falling onto the grass and sparkling as it settled there.

"Do you understand, now?" The Master's authoritative tone made the Doctor give an immediate reply; he nodded quickly without looking up.

The Master's gentle hand upon his back made him flinch. He was a little surprised at The Master's attempt at comforting him; he had never done this sort of thing before.

"You hear it now?" The Master asked, the Doctor noticed a slight tinge of desperation in his voice. He looked up, confused at what the Master had said. The Master shifted himself so he was sitting in front of him. "Do you hear the Drumming?"

The Doctor frowned and the Master sighed and tapped out the same rhythm he had heard the previous day. The Doctor shook his head.

The Master stood up, his face contorting with fury. "Why?" He shouted, his shout verging on a shriek which felt like it echoed through the land and every Gallifreyan would hear it. "How can you not?" He hissed, staring at the Doctor with utter revulsion in his expression. "The Drumming." He stated, as if that would help the Doctor realise or discover it. "I gained it when I went for initiation and everybody's strange behaviour when they returned; I thought they all heard it too! Eternally circling in my head, never leaving me alone." He spat the words out angrily. "I haven't had a thought of my own since that day, Doctor!" He growled and then unexpectedly, he laughed. "How could you not? You fool. You must hear it."

"Master, I don't." He replied desperately, hoping to end the conversation that he knew would only lead to more anger within the Master.

The Master let out a loud cry, sounding more like a choked animal than himself. "Impossible." He hissed at the Doctor before running down the hill, away from him.

He disappeared among the trees of the forest and soon the Doctor was left by himself once again. Why couldn't he hear the drumming? Was the Master special?  
Fear still struck him whenever he allowed his mind to drift back to his initiation but relief was also there, the drumming that had struck his friend had not decided to plague him also and although he worried for his friend he could not help but be glad about that.  
He felt as if his experience had taught him a lot. He was not stupid, he knew what he had seen had to be some sort of opening... in time. Was that possible? It was something he had never come across, despite his urge to learn. When he thought of it, his mind began to remember the pain he had been put through but there was a small part of him, the part that urged him to discover and learn that wanted to know more about it. He wanted to learn about things, even if he feared them, even if their very idea caused him to freeze with terror. He would never rest until he knew and until he learnt about the drumming… until he learnt to save his damaged friend. It was to be his eternal mission.


End file.
